It’s here again—the holiday that combines the anxiety of a job interview, the gift-giving doubt associated with Christmas, and the meal indecision (and follow-up guilt) experienced by most Buffalo Wild Wings patrons.
Of course we’re talking about Valentine’s Day. Twenty-four hours of chocolate, flowers, steak and lobster, and Redbox movies (rom-com’s only, naturally). Get this day right and you’ll be nominated for Significant Other of the Year. Get it wrong and, well, let’s just say it will lead to an unpleasant outcome. Our advice is that you get it right.
For such a simple, Hallmark-manufactured holiday, Valentine’s Day is easily the most nerve-wracking day of the year for any respectable male interested in keeping his girlfriend, fiance or wife. The requirements of this day seem easy enough: flowers and chocolate, a nice card (typically one that would absolutely get you de-friended on Facebook if it fell into the hands of your close buddies), a thoughtful gift (preferably one not associated with sports or super heroes), a semi-fancy dinner (pizza and drive-thru need not apply) and perhaps even a movie.
Valentine’s Day rarely goes that smoothly, however, and it seems like men experience the same problems year after year: flowers that die almost immediately, poor choice of chocolate (learn to distinguish between peanut and peanut butter M&M’s, guys), cards that are more jokey than sentimental, the purchase of a gift at the 11th hour (she will know if you put off buying her gift until the last minute, trust us), lame choice of restaurant and even more lame choice of movie.
Yes, for such a simple holiday, Valentine’s Day is even simpler to screw up.
If only we could go back to the days when Valentine’s Day was a simple, straightforward affair. As long as you had enough Valentines for your entire elementary school class, you were golden. No flowers, no real gifts, just little paper cards with friendly greetings and pictures of Care Bears (people still give out Care Bears valentines, right?).
Valentine’s Day sure is hard work in these times, but amidst all of the flowers, sugar and dinner reservations is the fact that this holiday is about man operating in his most selfless form. That’s why he’s willing to buy overpriced flowers and cheesy cards, and why he smiles relentlessly while footing a dinner bill that literally blasts his wallet to bits.
After all, Valentine’s Day is about the woman in his life, and she’s absolutely worth the money he spends and the minor embarrassment he suffers on this holiday built on love, commitment and “I Choo-Choo-Choose You” valentine cards.
So embrace this holiday, guys. Life is much simpler when you’ve been nominated for Significant Other of the Year.
Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone.